i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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