We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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