I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize