so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
