Don't you send me to vm
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
