It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
