And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
