For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
