I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
