I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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