I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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