she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
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