what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize