I'm really into asian looking animals
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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