don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
