somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
