using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
