i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
