and you said cock pushups were impossible
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
My ass is underappreciated
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
