it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
