I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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