can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
i out mim tonsoeep
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
