You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Randomize
