I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
