sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
