Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize