I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
