My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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