Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
