Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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