Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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