He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
