thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
