Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
