i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
