You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
