Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
