I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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