i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize