She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Randomize
