Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
