Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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