I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
