nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
