idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
