I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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