so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
