Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
