If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
She even gives head with a lisp.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
