You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
