you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize