I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
