Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Let the clothes fall where they may.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
