I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
