Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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