just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
