It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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