We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
